Seme Supreme
by MikaUchiha
Summary: Naruto finally comes to terms with his sexuality and after dating around a bit, realizes he's going to need some help with this whole dating thing. That's exactly what makes him end up on 'Seme Supreme', the new twist on 'The Bachelorette' with yaoi because yaoi sells . How will Naruto fare against a house full of hungry semes? Future lemons
1. Signed

**Seme Supreme**

**Summary: Naruto finally comes to terms with his sexuality and after dating around a bit, realizes he's going to need some help with this whole dating thing. That's exactly what makes him end up on 'Seme Supreme', the new twist on 'The Bachelorette' with yaoi (because yaoi sells). How will Naruto fare against a house full of hungry semes?**

**A/N:**** This is something that has been on my mind for quite some time now. The first yaoi fic I ever read was The Ukette, the most amazing thing in my opinion. It sucked me into the yaoi world, but sadly it has seemed to be discontinued, despite my attempts to get in contact with the author (I have PM'd her a dozen times, I kid you not) so I am making my own twist on the idea.**

**To make things straight: **

**No, I'm not copying her story and no, I'm not stealing her idea. I give full credit to the idea of a gay version of the Flavor of Love, which is why this is not being called The Ukette or anything of that nature. **

**This fic was inspired by the Ukette, not a copy of it, so don't get your thong in a knot! I just want to thank myinukoi for bringing me into the wonderful world of yaoi, wherever she disappeared to. :P**

**Now that that's over with, enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-sama. The Ukette and the idea behind it belongs to myinukoi.**

**Signed**

* * *

A woman sat behind a dark oak desk, her back turned to the blonde seated across from her, fidgeting in his chair. She swiveled side to side, a smirk on her face.

She was pleased. Very pleased.

The blonde was the image of a nervous wreck, anxious to hear the woman's reply on a pressing issue. He bit his lip as blue eyes dotted nervously around the room, unsure at what to look at. The two tall men on either side of him were not helping despite the one on his right being strikingly handsome.

"So you think you have what it takes?"

The fidgeting continued, unsure on how to respond. His love life depended on the answer.

"Well…yeah."

A silence ensued. Naruto gulped. More lip chewing and his now shaking hands added to the thick atmosphere. All of a sudden she swiveled around, a big smile on her face as she stuck her hand out in front of him.

He nearly fell out of his chair.

"Welcome to the family, Uzumaki!"

Naruto shook her hand, unsure of what she was talking about. Her smile was suspiciously wide as she snapped her fingers. The larger of the two men beside him moved and Naruto flinched as a paper was neatly placed in front of him. He looked down to notice a neatly printed document.

"Just sign on the line," the woman smoothly encouraged. A pen was slid his way, landing inches from the edge of the desk.

This woman was good.

The blonde quickly signed his name, all traces of anxiety and shaky hands gone. The woman issued him another dazzling smile, reaching over to shake his hand once more (although Naruto could've swore she was reaching for his crotch despite his other hand in his lap) before snatching the paper up and filing it away.

"Nice doing business with you, Naruto."

The blonde let a huge grin spread across his face.

"Same with you, Ishugashi-sama."

A mischievous look sparkled in her eyes as she smiled a warm smile.

"Call me Mika."

It was then that his fate was sealed.

* * *

**Yeah, I put myself in there, but I felt as if no one else suited the role and Tsunade is going to be used later as of right now.**

**Yes, it's short, but I thought it was great for an introduction. The second one will be longer. 2k+ words. I promise. It's already typed up. :3**

**Reviews will be appreciated. **_**Greatly! **_**And the first few reviews will get special gift so to speak well…type, so review and you'll see what I mean.**

**~Mika**


	2. Sealed

**Seme Supreme**

**Summary: Naruto finally comes to terms with his sexuality and after dating around a bit, realizes he's going to need some help with this whole dating thing. That's exactly what makes him end up on 'Seme Supreme', the new twist on 'The Bachelorette' with yaoi (because yaoi sells). How will Naruto fare against a house full of hungry semes?**

**A/N: I'm excited about this, so I hope you greatly enjoy it. Makes me happy on the inside. Thanks to all my reviewers and story alerts. SORRY is has been forever! I've had to switch computers and I graduated from HS early and I haven't had a solid place to stay for a long time, so here's to my fans! **

**This chapter is dedicated to 2fast2live! She's been a dedicated reviewer to all my fics so this ones to her! ;)**

**Also, I need a cover for this and many other stories. I will dedicate a whole chapter to you and maybe even do a request if you make me one! :D**

**Enjoy!**

**Sealed**

* * *

Naruto looked around in wonder, amazed at all that was happening in the large building.

And it was all for him.

HIM!

That thought alone made him swoon, let alone the fact that he got to pick out the 12 contenders.

"Here! Take it!"

A large stack of papers was shoved in his face as a less than enthused assistant sat down next to him.

"You need to narrow it down to fifty and then the team will help you decide from there. Make sure to look at the headshots _and_ read the personality section."

Naruto looked down at the large stack in his hands, shuffling through the pages.

"Fifty? How many are there?" Naruto exclaimed in disbelief, attempting to estimate the number of pages in his head. The assistant sighed.

"I don't know? Five hundred-ish?"

Naruto gaped.

"Holy shit!"

The assistant rolled her eyes.

"Loud much?"

She was met with a sheepish grin, a blush spreading across the blonde's face.

"Sorry!"

She showed a small smile.

"It's OK. Here, I can help."

Blue eyes lit up in excitement.

"Really! Thanks…uh…" blue eyes darted to a nametag, "Izumi**!**"

"No problem, Naruto." The duo began to shift through the large pile papers, shorting them into piles based on looks and personality to ensure a varied group of individuals. They spent a good hour or two giggling and talking as they dwindled the pile down to 50.

"Wow! I never thought that this could be so hard," Naruto exclaimed, finally glad to be done with the rather large pile. Izuminodded in agreement.

"Yeah! It's always like this for every reality love show. You have a whole lot of people audition and then you pick them off until you have your men…or ladies."

Naruto raised his eyebrows, "You've done this before?"

Izuminodded, "Yeah. This is my third time, but my first yaoi one! I'm used to picking out all the cute guys which was good because I get to meet all of them, but with this one only some of them like girls at all!"

Naruto laughed, "You sure have a great job."

He was most certainly right. Most girls would be envious of her position. Not everyone was surrounded by hot guys all day. Hot, single guys.

Yummy.

"Totally! Although, sometimes you run into pricks. Anyways, you want some coffee?"

Naruto perked up at this, tilting his head to the side innocently.

"Coffee?"

"Yeah. We have a Starbucks© downstairs. You want anything?"

Naruto pondered for a moment. He never had coffee before. His parents never let him, saying he was too young and would never sleep at night.

"One cup shouldn't hurt."

A smile spread across her face, "You like lattes?"

* * *

The sound of crunching resounded throughout the room as Naruto, once again, sat in front of the dark oak desk awkwardly staring at the woman in front of him. She was happily munching on some chips, Sweet Heat BBQ to be exact, getting crumbs all over the place. Naruto bounced up and down in his seat.

"Why do things have to be so awkward everytime I'm in here…"Naruto mumbled halfway pouting as he crossed his arms across his chest. The raven haired woman in front of him swallowed, licking her lips to collect any runaway crumbs.

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward," She taunted in a singsong voice, amusement creeping onto her features. Naruto rolled his eyes earning a teasing glare from his…_boss_.

She grabbed another bag, popping it open as she kept her eyes on the blonde, "Don't you want any snacks?" She gestured to the large tray of food between them, half the BBQ chips depleted.

The white haired man beside Naruto, who he learned was named Jiraiya, stepped forward to speak his mind, "Don't you think you're eating way too many chips?"

Mika narrowed her eyes, picking up a flyswatter beside her swivel chair and smacking him with it.

"Does that answer your question?"

He nodded meekly, stepping back into place as he ignored the red mark on his face.

"On with business," she began, eyeing the fidgeting blonde in front of her, "The interviews will begin tomorrow at noon. Make sure to pay close attention to the personality of each person. A panel of judges has been selected to see who would be fit to make the perfect _yaoi_ household. We'll combine the tallied votes with your selections and choose our twelve from that."

At the mention of yaoi, her lips curled upwards into an almost insane grin. Naruto nodded, wary of her new set of emotions. He didn't wanna set her off.

"Now," she started, grabbing Naruto's wavering attention once more, "I want you to get a good night's rest tonight. You're going to need to be p- Damn it! Stop bouncing."

Naruto stopped momentarily, looking at her with innocent eyes, nearly pouting.

"Wha? I'm sorry…I had coffee an-"

"No more for you! It's not good for your health! Stick with tea," she interrupted earning a pout from the uke in front of her as she shoved a small teacup in his direction.

"Bu-"

"No," was her curt reply, dashing the hopes of the blonde.

"Now go home and get some sleep. I want you here bright and early at 9 AM sharp. None of that late shit. Don't take after Kakashi, here," she reprimanded, pointing to the silver haired man to Naruto's right.

"Of course," Naruto nodded in earnest, exiting with a small wave and a dash out the door. Mika shook her head.

"I have a bad feeling something is going to mess up…"

* * *

_(Mika's POV)_

I woke up and lazily stretched out of bed, popping a few joints in the process. I gave a lazy smile to Jack, my precious little fluff ball of a kitty, as I reached down to scratch behind his ears, earning a deep purr in response.

A quick walk over to the window and an abrupt opening of the blinds proved it to be yet another sunny day. I sighed in contentment.

"So, Jack," the cat looked up in response, "you ready for some yaoi?"

The cat gave me a blank look which I quickly took as a yes since we very much enjoy the same things like tilapia, sunshine, and staying up late watching funny movies. I _swear_ he even laughs along.

I chuckled deeply as I pulled a fluffy robe around me, fighting off the chill of the air conditioning. I quickly made my way to the kitchen, starting a kettle of water for myself and a jar of fresh tuna for Jack. He quickly pounced on his cat perch, scarfing it down greedily.

"Damn. You'd think I never fed you before," I reprimanded almost teasingly. My words went unheard as he quickly emptied his bowl. I put some pre-cooked bacon in the microwave.

"Meow."

"I know it's unhealthy, but it's good."

"Meow."

"I can always go work out later."

"Meow, meow!"

"Yeah, you're right…I do have a full day ahead of me. Tomorrow then?"

"Meow."

I sighed and rolled my eyes at our foolish banter.

"Great…I really am a lonely cat woman."

A sharp, "Meow," was heard, Jack obviously having taken offense to that. I grabbed the bacon out of the microwave and set it down on the table, turning to make myself some tea with milk. I turned back only to see Jack stealing a piece of _my_ precious bacon.

"Damn hypocrite!"

He dashed to the other side of the table as I set my tea down and began to stuff all the bacon in my mouth.

"Mine," I managed to say with a mouth full of about 15 pieces of bacon. Jack took a sip out of my tea in almost revenge. I glared.

"That's my damn breakfast you damn cat," was my muffled reply. I really couldn't help myself when it came to bacon.

I barely managed to swallow my mouthful of bacon when my cell rang. I hastily answered my phone, almost growling at the person on the other end.

"What?"

I listened to the other person describing the scene at the office, obviously an assistant of mine.

"THEY DID WHAT!?"

And that was the start of a magical day for me.

* * *

Naruto snuck into the back of the building, slamming the door behind him in fear. A few of the contestant hopefuls accidentally caught a glimpse of him which led to an unwilling game of hide and go seek. Naruto sighed.

"Whew! I'm safe," he managed to mumble as he leaned against the door. He let out a girly scream as the door shook behind him.

A passerby rolled his eyes, "Uke."

Naruto glared.

"I could so top if I wanted to!"

They shook their head at him, "Denial…"

It was a never-ending battle with him.

The blonde made his way to the fifth level of the huge Ishugashi building, making his way to the designated area. He strolled into his dressing room, barely on time, only for everyone to stop and stare at him.

"What?"

Mika rubbed her temples, "I swear this is one hell of a day," she mumbled. She let out a long sigh.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Her eyes looked him up and down in distaste. Hair messy. Clothes ruffled. Mostly covered in orange. She frowned, snapping her fingers to alert her staff.

"You," an off-guard ginger turned to look at her, "Haruhi, fix his clothes. I want him look to fabulous, you hear me? FAB-U-LOUS!"

The fashion designer ran up beside the blonde, looking him over.

"I know just the outfit," she purred, tugging at his shirt.

Mika pointed a finger at a nervous brunette in the corner, "You," she snapped, "Fix his hair. Something that coordinates with his outfit. Nothing too crazy, got it?"

"Yes ma'am," Karo replied, "It will be perfect."

"And you," she barked at a nearby assistant, "fix his make-up. He has gorgeous eyes," Naruto blushed at the comment, "Make them _pop_!"

The assistant snapped his fingers, "Eyeliner," as the three dragged the confused blonde over to their work station. Mika nodded in agreement, confident in her staff.

"Welcome to showbiz, darling," Mika yelled as she left the room, searching down the hall for a certain fluff ball.

"Now where is that damned cat?"

* * *

Mika made her way to west side of the building, surveying the damage left by the anxious mob.

"Fifty people did all _this_?"

An assistant adjusted her glasses, "Yes, boss. They…_frenzied_."

Mika shook her head.

"Damn. I should've known this would've happened," she moped as she looked over the destruction. An entire ballroom section that had once held the semes was laid in ruins with tables overturned, curtains shredded, nosebleed blood everywhere, and oh dear God, was that semen!?

Mika moved her foot away slightly.

"Apparently Naruto accidently went in the wrong door," the assistant explained.

Mika shook her head and mumbled incoherently, "Dumb blondes…"

She estimated the costs of the damage, swearing under her breathe.

"What about the security guards?"

The assistant frowned, "They were swept away into the mob. All fifteen have been transported to the Konoha Hospital."

There was a long period of silence.

"Our insurance better fucking cover this."

* * *

"All of you listen up," Mika barked, standing over the crowd of fifty. The room went silent, all eyes to the woman at the podium.

"If I ever, and I mean _ever_, see any more destruction of my property I will castrate every single one of you, you hear me?"

Every head in the room nodded.

"I'm going to lay down the rules for today and anyone who disobeys a single one of them will be disqualified and fined 100,000 yen. Got it?"

There was a wave of nods. Mike pulled out a pad of paper and began to flip through it.

"Besides the destruction of property," she began, pausing for added effect, "there will be no unwanted touching of the uke. He is sacred and will be treated as such."

A series of groans will heard throughout the room, quickly silenced with a sharp glare. No one wanted to deal with her wrath.

She continued.

"There will be no one allowed in any area unauthorized to you. Any violators of this will be incarcerated in addition to the other penalties for breaking rules. I dare you to test me."

She looked menacingly across the crowd.

"There will be absolutely no cheating to get ahead in any way. This includes, but is not limited to, bribery, sabotage, kidnapping, and/or drugging other contestants, especially the uke. He's a blonde after all. Violators will be shanked. In the dick."

She sighed and put the flipbook away, addressing the crowd once more.

"Now that we have that out of the way, I would like to announce that the individual interviews and analysis will begin in approximately ten minutes. Please remain seated and wait for your number to be called. Any misbehaving will call for your immediate disqualification. _Don't_ test me," she growled, "Thank you for your time."

With that, she stepped off the stage and called for her personal assistant.

"Bring me a vanilla latte with extra sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on top and some Strawberry Margaritas. _Pronto_. Today is going to be one hell of a day."

It was going to be one hell of a day indeed.

* * *

**Haha…yes. My attempt at humour. Quite ridiculous. My friends say I'm funny, but honestly I don't see it. Yeah, I do sometimes talk to my cat and Jack is my favourite. I raised him from a newborn kitten. :3**

**Eh…random facts. Anyways…**

**Next chapter will be the interview portion. Feel free to review and tell me what questions you want Naruto the ask the people and who you want them to ask. It'll make me update faster!**

**Sorry it took so long! 3**


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